The title of Squirrel Flower’s latest album, I Was Born Swimming, holds powerful meaning even when stripped of its songs and taken alone. Before taking a listen to the first tune, one can already infer that this album is not meant to convey themes of passiveness or staticity of behavior. Ella O’Connor Williams, more widely known within music spheres as Squirrel Flower, touches on several concepts that may appear to be paradoxical, but actually demonstrate the complexity of being alive. In a world with many different types of people, one is bound to meet others with less-than kind intentions, so it is important to have enough insight to recognize one’s worth, reevaluate the reality of the situation, and potentially make the choice to, let’s say, ‘swim away.’
The title I Was Born Swimming itself is a reference to the story of Ella’s birth. She was born inside a translucent caul sac membrane, but I believe that this title is a sort of double entendre also alluding to her being level-headed and knowing when to march away from a bad situation. In the case of her song “Slapback,” she more specifically discusses the inner conflicts of being in an abusive relationship. Ella is an interesting kind of musician, developing the themes in her songs through both lyrics and instrumentation, while some musicians choose to only use lyrics to paint a picture. Delving into both the album’s lyrical content and Squirrel Flower’s instrumentation and sound, I found the challenge of inferring the song’s themes to be extra exciting because of the many forms of musical stimuli Ella provides to the listener.
This idea is best illustrated in the aforementioned “Slapback.” While she is singing about the dynamics of an abusive relationship, the listener hears a repetitive drum tap every few seconds. This slowly oscillating tap feels like two people slapping each other, exactly what she is describing lyrically. She sings over this loose rhythm, saying “you don’t care what my answer is, but if you slap me I’ll slap you right back.” One could also argue, however, that the drums represent conflicting thoughts fighting each other. If you’re into Freud, maybe the argument of the superego vs. ego can be applied to this song. From this lens, the superego, or the person’s ideal plan of action, would be Ella, or whoever Ella is representing, claiming that they would slap their abuser “right back” the next time their abuser slaps them. However, the ego, or the actual plan of action, is displayed through the lyrics “you’re not one to think of things like that, so I’ll be quiet, I’ll be gentle and I’ll call you right back.” In reality, she is too scared by the circumstances, possibly of being manipulated further or losing the one she ‘loves,’ to do anything to physically fight back. Instead, she will do what she needs to stay on the abuser’s good side. There are some songs on the album that only feature one guitar, which creates what has been called a very ‘empty’ sound. I believe that this may be intentional on Ella’s part, as these particular songs’ most prevalent motifs are feelings of loneliness. This is evident through her ability to write noisier more garage band-esque songs, such as “Red Shoulder” and “Honey, Oh Honey!,” which are juxtaposed against more somber ballads like “Belly of the City.”
Just because someone can’t or may decide to not fight back doesn’t mean that they are weak, and Ella makes sure to acknowledge this through her other songs. Just because you may feel powerless doesn’t mean that you are. Here the theme of complex identity returns again. In “Streetlight Blues,” Ella brings up a clever point: things can be small, yet bursting with intense, euphoric energy. She compares her energy to insects, singing “bugs in the streetlight, our time is over soon” and “my body is buzzing as I start to dance.” We can all relate to those unforgettable nights where we feel absolutely helpless until one perfectly-timed song brings out intense jubilation. A determination to make it through the night resurges, and your body and mind are caught in a lovely trance. There is this unmistakable energy that emerges when that one song forces you to quite literally dance your troubles away, at least for the moment. Ella makes it clear that she identifies with the bugs in this song, a further example of her love of small but mighty characters. After all, we are all very small from even a bird’s eye view, so imagine how much tinier we get when you keep zooming out! What I’m saying is, Ella is right. She teaches us that, although we may be tiny, we are free agents who will always have the ability to leave toxic situations and to create an unimaginably tremendous, unbridled energy.
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