“All I Want for Christmas Is You” by My Chemical Romance (2004), Reviewed by Alexandra Mendelsohn
If you’ve ever lamented the lack of emo in holiday music, My Chemical Romance’s head-banging cover of Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas Is You” is your solution. MCR flips the script on the genre’s traditional production conventions and elevates the Christmas classic with grungy guitars and high-energy vocals in a way that I can only describe as “if a gingerbread house had a baby with warped tour.” Following the style of the original, the track begins with a pared-down first verse (crooned by none other than the king of emo himself, Mr. Gerard Way) before exploding into a pop-punk cacophony. This is the only Christmas song I can conceivably imagine a mosh pit forming during. Way's yearning, tempestuous delivery of the lyrics puts a more passionate spin on the narrative—if Mariah Carey wants to see her baby standing right outside her door (quoth the song), then Gerard REALLY wants to see his. MCR’s take on this festive hit provides the essence of a full rock opera within a mere three minutes and forty-four seconds. The holidays aren’t always candy canes and Christmas lights—they can be emotional, messy, and loud. Really loud. My Chemical Romance’s cover perfectly embodies this sense of chaos that the season often brings, thus creating an experience I’ve come to love as one of my favorite Christmas traditions.
“Carol Of The Bells - Spotify Singles Holiday” by Ashnikko (2021), Reviewed by Boowa Zarcone
“Carol of the Bells” is possibly my favorite holiday song ever, hands down. As a wee child, I learned it (among countless other tunes) on the piano for a Christmas recital, and its haunting, repetitive melody struck me to the core. So, when I found out that Ashnikko recorded her own cover, I was elated. I think the most successful covers are instrumental– the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Lindsey Stirling come to mind immediately– but I was hopeful that Ashnikko’s ethereal vocals could do it justice. I felt that she could bring a modern twist to this classic that so many before her had attempted. I do think she sounds lovely, emphasizing the beats to bring a hard-hitting feeling whereas most singers are too gentle, but the background track fails in comparison. Not to be harsh, but it sounds like a Toyota holiday commercial. The robotic “ho ho”s are especially terrifying, as if Freddy Fazbear himself was standing right behind me. Dial down on the trap beats and turn up the violins, and this would be an instant classic, but for now, I think I’ll stick to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
“December” by Ariana Grande (2015), Reviewed by Vivian Hoang
Listen, I know Christmas is a holy, wholesome day we spend with our families, but who says you can’t throw a lil ass even on the 25th of December? Maybe the Bible, but… I wouldn’t know, I’m agnostic. In any case, if you’ve been trying to find the perfect song to get freaky to underneath the mistletoe, look no further: Ariana Grande’s “December” has got you covered. “December” puts a 21st century spin on traditional Christmas music, creating a beautiful mix of jingle bells, modern pop R&B funk, and some good ol’ sexual innuendo—just the way Old Saint Nick intended. Ariana truly embraces the giving spirit of the holiday season throughout the track, promising to give her boyfriend “all [she] can” and to do “whatever is on [his] list.” How generous of her!
But on a real note, let’s not take ourselves so seriously this Christmas and just have a little fun. Maybe “December” is a tad too explicit to play at your family’s holiday party (unless Aunt Karen is into that sorta thing), but what you do behind closed doors—perhaps after ingesting a healthy dose of some spiked eggnog—is all at your own discretion. But listen at your own risk—you just might get added to Santa’s naughty list.
“Must Be Santa” by Bob Dylan (2009), Reviewed by David Lefkowitz
Imagine a spectrum of old men. Harrowing, I know, but bear with me here. Now, with all those old fogeys standing in line, snapped to attention, shoulder to shoulder. If we can settle on the two outer edges of this rag-tag crew, we can organize all the geezers who stand between. Santa, of course, stands at one pole of this spectrum (the north one, presumably). Jolly, charitable, unseen and rarely heard: the perfect old dude. And at the other? There he stands, grouching and grimacing as he has for the last 50 years: Bob Dylan. No two old men could be more unlike one another. They are, if anything, natural enemies.
And, yet, in 2009, the unthinkable happened: Mr. Dylan released Christmas of the Heart, an unexpected holiday album, whose centerpiece was a zany, Klezmer-flecked cover of the transparently pro-Clause classic “Must Be Santa.” The resulting 3 minutes are some of the most joyous, festive cognitive dissonance you’ll ever encounter. The music video is even more unhinged, a merry maelstrom featuring Dylan in a Scrooge wig, an action movie chase scene, and the jolly old Elf himself. They say that Christmas is a time to put aside your differences and come together. To me, there is no greater testament to the magic of the holidays than this: music’s most notable Grinch quite literally singing Santa’s praises. “Special night” indeed, Bob.
“This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway (1970), Reviewed by Evelyn Hall
I’ve heard “Jingle Bells” chorused by third graders more times than I can count and “All I Want for Christmas” blasted through low quality speakers double that many times. Both are classics of course, but the song “This Christmas” makes every Christmas “That Christmas.” While I know hearing it play on local holiday radio stations is a common occurrence, for having been released over 30 years ago, it took me WAY too long to find it. Its energy matches those of the songs my high school jazz band would attempt to play- exciting, catchy, and probably difficult to sight-read. Without a doubt in my mind, it is the classiest and jazziest tune to tune into for every holiday affair. There are so many different factors that bring this song together, making it hard to get bored of. You can fixate on something different every time it plays. It has the most mellow of vocal melodies, the loudest lines of low brass, a not-so-peaceful piano solo pulling you through the bridge, roughly five different types of drums, and a bass melody that makes you want to learn how to play it yourself. Not to mention the fact that the jingle bells at the beginning and the end create a perfect loop so you can accidentally listen to the song six times in a row without noticing, just like I have while writing this. Happy Holidays, everyone. I hope “This Christmas” is a good one.
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney (1979), Reviewed by Mary Beth Bauermann
Christmas is always puzzling for us Beatles fans. The Fab Four did actually produce a Christmas song (fun fact: all four Beatles are credited as writers on “Christmas Time Is Here Again,” which was released on a fan club album in 1967, but unless you have access to a vinyl copy, it isn’t easily accessible). So, what else do we have? Well, there’s Ringo’s entire I Wanna Be Santa Claus 1999 album, which doesn’t get a lot of airplay. There’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” from John and Yoko, but it’s contemplative and isn’t exactly a bopper. It would make a nice festive waltz, though, if you’re into that. From George, we have the classic “Ding Dong, Ding Dong,” buried deep in his 1974 Dark Horse album, but George centers the song around the celebration of the New Year instead of Christmas. Make no mistake- it’s at the top of my list of favorite songs about the New Year. And so we arrive at “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney, which is featured on his second completely solo endeavor, McCartney II. Throwing a Christmas song on the same album as “Temporary Secretary”? You have to applaud Paul’s endless ambition.
“Wonderful Christmastime” has everything that you could possibly want (and, honestly, a bit more than you might want in the synth department) in a Christmas song. You have your standard jingle bells, ding-dongs, funky keyboards, and festive lyrics about the Christmas spirit, alongside Paul’s signature doodly-doo and synth experimentation, characteristic of McCartney II. Towards the end of the song, Paul goes crazy on the synth delay, perfect for your festive headbang. Lyrically, there isn’t a lot of substance and the titular phrase “We’re simply having a wonderful Christmastime” is repeated enough times that by the end, you will never get it out of your head. But is that really so bad? The song is simple and sonically innovative at the same time. We’re here tonight, and that’s enough, and Paul ensures that all of us, Beatles fans or not, are simply having a wonderful Christmastime.
“8NIGHTS” by Dafna and Cameron Desnoes (2020), Reviewed by Isabel Haber
Folks, I’ve finally found it. The perfect romantic Hanukkah Song. If there’s anything the Christians got right in this world, it’s the vast expanse of incredibly catchy Christmas Music. And quite frankly, us Jews have been severely lacking in that department. But fear not, because “8NIGHTS” is an incredibly sweet Hanukkah song that Jews and non-Jews alike can enjoy. Right off the bat, there’s a catchy background tune that draws you in and stays steadily throughout the song. Dafna and Desnoes' voices blend beautifully together, which is encapsulated in my favorite lyric “But right now what feels true / Is I wanna spend all these next eight nights with you.” This song makes you feel the warmth associated with Hanukkah, which is sometimes referred to as the Festival of Lights. Even when I listen to it in July, this song does a great job transporting me to December with lyrics like “The snow is glistening / Tea kettle’s whistling / Onions sizzling on the stove” and “The candles flickering / Your eyes are winter green.” The softness of the songs also pairs well with the uncertainty in the lyrics. The subjects are excited about each other, but don’t have any idea where the romance will go. In a world full of Christmas songs, go listen to this song and show Hanukkah some love!
Happy Holidays from all Vinyl Tap Staff! Here's a playlist with all the songs we reviewed, we hope you enjoy it!
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